Reflection of the Past 3 Years

I’m on a plane right now headed to Ecuador because I saw a pamphlet on a Professor’s desk that said “Trent-in-Ghana” during my first year of University in Queen’s commerce. 

Let’s deconstruct that a little bit, shall we? First of all, the reason I’m going to Ecuador is because it’s been a whole year since I’ve seen my host family I lived with during the 2015-2016 Trent-in-Ecuador year abroad program. So naturally, I wanted to go back because they essentially adopted me. But if we dig further, we realize I was with Dome, a member of that host family, 6 days ago. She lived with me studying ESL for the entirety of my last year of University in Peterborough. But hold up! Why was I in Peterborough? 

I went to Queen’s commerce because it was the best business school in Canada, and only because it was so selective did I enroll in that program. I knew I was more interested in human rights and development studies, but I rationalized that this way, I could get a guaranteed job and focus my energy in non-profit business. Silly in retrospect, but as a type-A overachiever student-body-president with a 94 GPA coming out of high school, the pressure was on. I largely put the pressure on myself, but still. I had a full tuition scholarship… How could I give that up? 

It turns out the cutthroat environment of wall-street wannabes, cash-obsessed students, and teachers saying human rights abuses weren’t so bad if you got a bang-for-your-buck (profit margins! profit margins!) was absolutely the wrong place for me. After one god-awfully horrible semester, I made the tough decision to switch out of the program into global development. It might seem like a no-brainer, but in that environment, with students and professors alike saying “you’re going to regret this,” or “once you switch you can’t come back” it was quite challenging to pursue what I was passionate about. (One kid in my Economics group who aspired to be the Wolf of Wall Street told me switching would be the worst decision of my life because, and I quote, “we spit on the arts kids.”) I remember having a conversation with my Mom at Christmas break, and I even said, “I can put off happiness for four years if it means I’ll be successful.” Let me set the scene: I’d stay in the commerce building all night—like literally sleep in the study spaces—and still have homework the next day. It got ugly. 

I switched. Best decision ever. To be clear, the first year was already underway, so I couldn’t technically join the Global Development program right away… but I’ve never been very impressed with technical barriers. I went to speak with the Global Development department head, Paritosh Kumar, and said I wanted his special permission to take the two second year courses during the rest of my first year at Queen’s. Long story short, he let me take the courses. On his desk that day I visited, I saw a pamphlet for a 3rd year abroad program called “Trent-in-Ghana” out of Trent University. I looked it up, and saw they also had a year abroad in Ecuador. I applied to both programs during the second semester of my first year. Like I said, technical barriers don’t impress me.

I didn’t think about it much because I knew I was only going into my second year, but figured applying two years in a row would better my chances to get in for my third year. I even signed a lease for the following year in Kingston because I assumed I was coming back! When I did the Ghana interview over Skype and met Paul, I was very surprised. Here was this awesome prof character telling me I could do the requirement first year course I hadn’t done over the summer, and head to Ghana or Ecuador in April. I had to find somebody to take over my lease. 

The orientation was a blast. All the girls who were going had interests like mine, were super welcoming, and Charlotte even let me sleep at her apartment for the weekend. I decided to do the Trent in Ecuador abroad program… even though I’d never taken a Spanish class in my life. I took my first year international development course and a Spanish 1000 class online over the summer. 

When I got to Ecuador, the only thing I could say was, “Hola.” By the end of the 8 months, I was fluent in Spanish and had made some of the best friends I had ever made. My host family was HUGE, and every single one of them made me feel like family. With my 11 Canadian friends from Trent and Guelph and Dalhousie, I went to the sierra, the beach, climbed volcanos, lived in the Amazon for a bit, ate dozens of new foods, experienced a new culture, surfed for the first time, and lived through a billion and a half “What is my life” moments. 

The plan before had been to return to Queen’s after doing this year, but I fell in love with the Trent-in-Ecuador program so much (friendships, teaching style, school philosophy, etcetera.) that I decided to finish my undergraduate degree in International Development Studies in Peterborough at Trent University.

Over the summer I worked in Burlington biking around for VPIRG, which is basically an environmental organization that raises money for initiatives. I’ll have to write a whole other essay about that, because I had some crazy experiences there. 

My year in Peterborough was awesome. First of all, the students in my program became immediate friends—we all think alike in so many ways. I learned about the real things that grind my gears, like gross inequalities, sustainable agriculture, indigenous resistance movements, economic alternatives, neoliberal violence, challenges in migration, the dark face of globalization, cultural genocide, climate change, gender issues, corporate assholes in 21st century capitalism, governance approaches, exploitation, power imbalances, global health, and structural change. My professors were not only extremely knowledgable, but kind and helpful. We drank coffee on Wednesdays in the IDS resource room, and ate dinner at Dana’s house once. I made pals outside my program too, and met as many international students as I could. I rode around my apple green bicycle, explored coffee shops downtown, went for runs through the forest, at at the Spoon, and just enjoyed being in the presence of people who genuinely accepted me for who I am. 

The most important thing I learned at Queen’s was to follow your passions even when it’s a tough decision, and not to let money taint your idea of what success means. Even though we strangely equate being unhealthily busy and productive 24/7 to having more “value,” I learned that being stressed out can make unhappy, and that’s not worth it. 

In Ecuador, I learned to live in the present moment. I learned that friends can be made anywhere. I learned that language is a key to opening your eyes to the world. I learned that it’s okay to lean on other people when you’re feeling lost, or unsure. I learned that surrounding yourself with real friends who love you for who you are is more important than friends with connections. I also learned I was bi… more on that another time. I learned every single person on the planet has a unique story and lesson to teach you. Most importantly, I learned that happiness is not an end goal that you’ll reach when you have the steady job or whatever else, but that happiness should be a constant state of mind. 

In Peterborough, I realized that there are other people who think like I do, and even if Trent IDST is a bubble, I know I’ll find pals in other places who make me feel understood like this group does. This year I took time to do things I enjoyed by applying the “live in the moment” mantra I learned in Ecuador. I started drinking coffee. I lived with 3 people I didn’t know (and Dome!) and realized I can get along with just about anyone. I went on dates with girls. I learned that I have preconceived notions about certain kinds of people (ie business men with billion dollar suits), and I’m trying to dispel these judgements and overcome flaws I didn’t know I had. I learned that I’m probably going to be studying this stuff for the rest of my life, because I can’t imagine being personally fulfilled if I’m not learning more about international development or sustainable policy alternatives or everyday discrimination or preposterous levels of inequality. I learned I could write an absurd amount of papers in 8 months! I learned that there are good people everywhere. I learned to stop blaming society for the injustices happening around me and actively challenge them. I learned it’s okay to take time to re-charge. I learned that it’s okay to create your own path and somehow graduate in 3 years instead of 4. I learned that I will stay in touch with a lot of these friends for years and years. Finally, I learned that my Economics group-mate in my first semester was wrong, and that switching out of commerce, and then switching out of Queen’s were the best decisions I could have made for me. 

I’m finishing my degree by doing an intensive french study program for a month in Quebec, and another one in France. I’m applying for an internship with the UN Office for the High Commissioner for Human Rights. What even is life? 

We’re descending. I’ll be in Ecuador soon!

Laurence